Lucky Ali: I feel burdened by expectations

Lucky Ali may not have been lucky in relationships but it has not stopped him from moving ahead in life. As he struggles to be understood by his family, he says he’d not want anything to change in his life. Excerpts from an interview with TOI.
You are back with a new album after a long hiatus. What kept you away?
When I don’t have anything to say, I keep quiet.I never seek publicity. When I want to say something, I make an album.
Is music the way you express yourself?
That’s the only way I know. All my previous albums have talked about life. I wanted to say so much to so many people, so I expressed it through my songs. I have never gone public about my likes and dislikes. My new album is about moving ahead in life. We must never be dependant on anybody, we need to be inter-dependant.
How do you rate yourself as a dad?
I have four great kids. My eldest son is 14 now. It’s great to see them grow. I won’t say I am the best father but I know I love all my children equally. My family keeps complaining that I do not give them time...I just wish they understood me!
You had a tempestuous relationship with your father...
Yes. We grew up in the US after my dad’s second marriage. While dad did not want us to be influenced by the Western culture, my stepmom did not want us around. I felt lost as a child. Dad was always away. I am always there for my kids.
Your father once made a film on drug abuse which had references to your life. Did it hurt?
It felt really bad. I still take marijuana on and off, but I am not a drug addict. I told dad about my habit and tried to make him understand, but he had his own views. I don’t think he understood me.
What made you blog?
I connect well with people I don’t know. I can pour my heart out to them. I can’t do the same with my family because there are great expectations from me.
You also breed horses and farm.
I have always loved doing many things. But now I feel tired and think ‘Is it really worth it?’ It has always been this way with me. I keep questioning things that I do. I married twice like my dad. Now, I wish I never did so...
Are you unhappy?
I am not unhappy as such. I just feel burdened by expectations, misunderstandings and complaints.
What about Bollywood films?
Rock Shock, co-starring Sonali Kulkarni releases next month. I like to do things at my own pace, but my family feels I should take on more work. I wish they realised I am not a money-making machine.
So, how lucky have you been?
I am grateful to God for giving me everything. While my basic nature can never change, I have grown as a person. I wouldn’ want to change anything in my life.