Work-life balance after kids? It's a myth: Neha Dhupia

Written By: Harsh Kashiv

Neha Dhupia, who was in Ahmedabad recently, says, “In my team, everyone is a Gujarati. I know the language but can’t speak Gujarati. I have several family members who live in Ahmedabad.”

The actress, who has been in showbiz for over two decades, adds, “If I get a great opportunity, I am willing to do Gujarati films. Gujarati actors are so good! There are so many of them in Mumbai.”

‘Glad to be doing topical projects’
Reflecting on her latest releases, Neha says, “It’s interesting how timing works in this industry. I didn’t plan for both shows to come out within three weeks of each other. When work comes in clusters, there’s a lot of surround sound.”

The actress, who returned to work after becoming a mother, shares, “I started shooting two-and-a-half to three years after my son was born. The scale of the project wasn’t extremely large, but it had its heart in the right place. I am glad to be doing projects that are topical.”

‘I didn’t know how to address postpartum depression’

Talking about what inspires her to work for women’s empowerment through initiatives like Freedom to Feed, Neha says, “When we had our first child, I slipped into postpartum depression. I didn’t know what was happening, and I didn’t even know how to address it. I wish there was just a simple form for new mums asking about their mental health—with questions like ‘How are you feeling this morning?’ ‘Do you feel pressurised?’ ‘Are you feeling overwhelmed?’ Therefore, I started this community. Today, we have thousands of mothers with us. We get experts to talk about their life stories and new mums can learn from them.”

‘It’s a sea change once you have children’

On balancing motherhood and her career, Neha is refreshingly honest, “It’s a sea change once you have children. If you think you’re going to find your balance after becoming a mother of two toddlers, you’re living in a mythical world. Balance comes with support, companionship, and people who understand you. My parents are at home looking after my children while I’m here working. Working mums get judged all the time—I’ve had people ask me questions at events. You are subjected to these jabs constantly.”

She adds, “If you’re with your children for two hours, give it 100 per cent. If you’re at work for eight hours, give it 100 per cent. For the past four weeks, I’ve been occupied. During Christmas and New Year, I’ll be on the other side. Nothing is easy after having children.”

‘I have utmost respect for paps in Mumbai’

Addressing the invasiveness of social media and paparazzi culture, Neha shares a disturbing incident. “Once, an elderly lady filmed me sleeping on a flight. I was frightened when I woke up because I didn’t know how long she’d been filming me. People should have boundaries. You could be sitting in a restaurant, but there are those 500x zoom lenses,” she says.

However, she’s candid about the relationship actors have with attention and visibility and adds, “We also want to put ourselves out there, right? Being there, being visible, it’s actually a very big part of what we do. When did we suddenly become camera-shy? This is what we do —we love the camera in all shapes, forms, and sizes. How’s the camera ever going to love us back? That’s our medium to the world.”

She maintains a nuanced view of the paparazzi. “I have utmost respect for paps in Mumbai. When our children are there, they actually ask if I want them clicked. You’ll never see any pap photos of my kids because they respect my children. Hate travels very fast, and I wonder why garnering love is so tough. If there’s misrepresentation or AI involved in projecting me in the wrong way, I will speak up,” she says.