Women as sexperts?

Novelist Martin Amis recently lauded women writers for the way they understand, depict and bring to life sex scenes.
They show the awkward moments, the fumbling between the sheets, he was quoted as saying. And that makes it real to read and see, says filmmaker Mahesh Bhatt. Amis may be referring to women novelists, but Bhatt says the same applies to women script and screenplay writers, and even women directors.“Women add a certain amount of unexplained gentleness to an intimate moment or a sex scene,” he says.
The female observation power makes a world of a difference while putting pen to paper. “Women writers retain the awkwardness, hesitation, sexual tensions between the man and woman. Men tend to remove the discomfort, the sloppiness and the hesitation which makes the scene too perfect. It ceases to be lifelike and gives it the kiss of death,” Bhatt adds. Film writer Juhi Chaturvedi (Vicky Donor) made the audience smile and ponder over what a sperm donor goes through. The scene where the character Vicky had to masturbate at the clinic elicited laughs from viewers because it was so real. “Though I’m a woman, I could easily get into the pants of the character and imagine what a sperm donor would go through,” she says. “Of course, women write sex scenes better. Because men are just too busy doing it to observe anything,” she adds.
In India, women talking ‘sex’ may still make some men squirm. “I wasn’t sure if my director would be comfortable. In fact, we had to talk a lot of nonsense before actually getting to the topic. There was some hesitation at first but he (Shoojit Sircar) did admit to me later that he would not have made the film had a guy written the script. So that says a lot. I think women bring in the much needed sensitivity into such scenes,” Juhi says.
The film writer feels that for men the subject is more of a joke. “We women perceive sex differently. Like if I’m not in love, I won’t make love,” she says. Shagufta Rafique, whose recent films include Murder 2 (writer) and Jannat 2 (screenplay and story), agrees. “I’m 47, I’ve seen it all, done it all. When it comes to intimate or sex scenes, women are honest. Detailed attention is paid to how a man will touch a woman, how they will kiss, etc. But the problem is that we may write the script or screenplay, but if the director is male, he will give it the kind of treatment he wants to,” she says. These days, women are portrayed so unrealistically, she feels. “They’re all over the men, pawing them, attacking them. Jacqueline looked like a man making love on screen and not a woman (in Murder 2). On screen, men tend to show women they’ve slept with, but they need to understand the character better. It’s appalling how sex scenes are shown. I think we need women writers and directors. That’s why I’m going to take up direction,” she adds.
Juhi is all praise for filmmaker Mira Nair. “In Monsoon Wedding, there is a scene where Naseerji gets up from his bed and goes to his wife Lillete Dubey’s bed. That emotion only a woman writer and director could have understood,” she says. Lillete says, “That scene was more like comfort sex. It was written by a woman, directed by a woman and played by a woman. I think a scene includes the makeup of the writer. Women are more emotionally developed than men; their emotional intelligence is higher. And that’s how they deal with everything in life — sex, love, friendship. Women bring in their natural sensuality while writing about love-making or sex scenes. But then we shouldn’t generalise because some fantastic intimate scenes have been penned by men too.”
Mahesh Bhatt says it’s the woman’s gaze that makes a difference. “When a woman writes sex, it loses its voyeuristic attributes. Even when Pooja (Bhatt) films an erotic scene, its way better than how a Mohit Suri or Anurag Basu would,” he says. Well, guess women are the sexperts here.