Thank God Bride flopped

<div class="section1"><div align="left" style="position:relative; left: -5"><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="left" border="1" width="33.5%"> <colgroup> <col width="100.0%" /> </colgroup> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" white=""> <div class="Normal"><img src="/photo/896236.cms" alt="/photo/896236.cms" border="0" /></div> </td> </tr> </table></div> <div class="Normal">If <span style="" font-style:="" italic="">Bride</span> had been a hit, many good film projects would be panned for clichéd drivel.Now they won''t. <br /><br />There is no movie I can remember in the recent past that had such perfect hype. For the whole of last year, not a week went by when timesofindia.com did not carry a piece on the upcoming masterpiece <span style="" font-style:="" italic="">Bride and Prejudice</span>. <br /><br />And why not? It had it all - Ms Beckham Chadha, Ms Rai, Jane Austen, Bollywood, Marriage and of course love - which never goes out of fashion right? <br /><br />However, 10 days ago the movie finally got released. Then the reviews started coming in. <br /><br />The British media trashed it more than they would an average Govinda movie. I felt agitated. My initial reaction was that maybe the west is jealous of our amazing filmmakers. <br /><br /><script language="javascript">doweshowbellyad=0; </script><br /><br /></div> </div><div class="section2"><div class="Normal"><br />I couldn''t wait to see the movie. Two days later, the Indian media started panning it. Critical reviews mixed with a bit of spicy bitchiness that made them sound a little biased - but they were unidirectional - the movie is a dud. I still did not believe it. This is Ms Beckham Chadha hello? <br /><br />Two days ago, I saw the movie. <br /><br />So how can I say it? Between me and my friends we have this movie list, of movies that are so bad that they are in the "So bad, it''s good" category. <br /><br />This means the movie is awful, but if you actually see it dispassionately, you can laugh - not on the intended script - but at the foolishness of the proceedings. <br /><br />Other movies in our list have included <span style="" font-style:="" italic="">Khopdi</span>, starring Mithun-da, or the recent <span style="" font-style:="" italic="">Hawas</span>. I hate to say it, but <span style="" font-style:="" italic="">Bride</span>... is in that category. <br /><br />Why? Because it is just bad filmmaking. There are many, many reasons for this (as you have to try hard to make it to the ''so bad, it''s good'' list). But I don''t want to sound like those reviews. <br /><br /></div> </div><div class="section3"><div class="Normal"><br />Suffice it to say that the movie feels like a skit - an improvised drama that was put together on a weekend. One reason for this might be the characters - which are downright silly. No attempt has been made to explore them or their motives. <br /><br />Here is the list: four sisters - indistinguishable personalities, camera on Ash 95 per cent of the time, period. One mother - obssesses about girls'' marriage and says nothing else in the movie. Father - keeps quiet. American hero - can''t tell Ash that the guy she is hanging out with made his sister pregnant. Amazing characters eh? <br /><br />The strongest reasons why <span style="" font-style:="" italic="">Bend it</span>... did well was the sensitive, vulnerable characters that endeared us all. Everyone in the story had conflicts in life, which were not easy to resolve and kept the audience engaged. <br /><br />How Ms Chadha decided to give characterisation a miss is shocking. In fact, some people felt this silliness was intentional - like the ultimate Bollywood spoof. Maybe it was. Maybe it is only me who is not getting the point here.<br /><br />Did the movie bother Indians? Not really. Yes, she has made fun of Indians - no doubt in that, even though she may call it a ''tribute''. <br /><br /></div> </div><div class="section4"><div class="Normal"><br />I am from a middle-class Punjabi family, and trust me, none of my cousin sisters even in distant relatives ever came close to doing a snake dance. <br /><br />But the fact that the joke has turned on Ms Chadha, and that Indians are generally forgiving people means we don''t feel so bad. Actually, we almost feel sorry for her. <br /><br />She doesn''t understand the western audiences, and now she doesn''t understand India. So what is she to do now? So much for the crossover queen. We also feel bad for Ash. Because of the exchange rate, Ms Chadha could afford Ash. <br /><br />Lured by Hollywood dreams (let''s face it, who wouldn''t be) and mega-pounds to gain (the currency I mean) she signed on for this high school drama. With this kind of script, no Ash or for that matter any actress in world could have made this movie tick. <br /><br />But here is the thing - imagine this movie without Ash. With no Ash, this movie would have sunk in half a day. Thanks Ash, for making it last a week! <br /><br /></div> </div><div class="section5"><div class="Normal"><br />Finally, I come to the title of my article. Yes, thank god the movie flopped. It saves my country a lot of embarrassment. Because with a real script and a few well-timed jokes, such lampooning of India just might have worked. <br /><br />After that, there would have been a slew of movies to meet this audience. Which means movies that make a difference, original stories and relevant scripts would have been shown the bin by international distributors. <br /><br />I know this, because this has already happened in the Indian fiction market. All Indian novels must have as many of the following words "colonial, caste system, spices, elephants, cows, poverty and saheb/memsaheb". Only then there is a hope to get published. <br /><br />My novel didn''t - and every publisher in town rejected it (except one, thankfully!). Now, twenty-five weeks on the bestseller list and record sales later, the literary industry is looking at my book and asking "has India really changed?" <br /><br />Yes, all you semi-creative but well-connected people out there. India has really changed. Make trash - it will flop. Make good movies - they will do well. And the whole marriage obssessed parent thing - that is so ''80s. And the snake dance - well, that is so bad, it''s good!<br /><br />(<span style="" font-style:="" italic="">Chetan Bhagat is the author of Five Point Someone: What Not To Do At IIT</span>)</div> </div>