Soha Ali Khan: Growing up in Delhi, we didn’t even lock our doors or have doorbells

Soha Ali Khan has spent her growing up years in Delhi, when the city was safer and one didn’t have to worry about keeping their doors locked at all times. In a conversation with us at her Vasant Kunj home, Soha revisits her Delhi hangouts as a teenager and her geeky self in school.
‘We used to walk to the Rashtrapati Bhawan to see Republic Day parade’
I’ve spent an equal number of days in Delhi and Mumbai now and I feel that both are my home.I was in Delhi from the age of six to sixteen or seventeen. When we used to stay in our old house, opposite Sena Bhawan, we used to walk up the road till Rashtrapati Bhawan to see the parade on Republic Day; I used to go there with my father. I remember knowing Delhi so well and being so comfortable here. This is where I learnt how to drive in the family Gypsy. I think in those days, in our old house, we wouldn’t even lock our doors, that was how life was back then. We had one security guard who would always fall asleep, people would come and go out at their ease. We didn’t have doorbells or keys like I do today.
I think I’ll sound really old if I talk about places I used to hang out at! In those days we used to go to nightclubs. Ghungroo and Annabelles were my brother’s time, I went to places like Oasis and Djinns – I don’t know if they still exist. Ashoka Hotel was not fancy those days, apparently, there is a club there now. We used to go to Delhi Gymkhana Club, where I’d get tennis and badminton lessons, we used to go and swim at the Golf Club. And we used to go on long drives, we’d drive out and watch planes takes off. Now, the highway has changed things and you can’t get that close to the airport anymore. We used to go to Priya Complex and a friend of mine used to own this place called Arabian Nights, where we’d go for tikkas and rolls.

‘I was a very good student, I only bunked one class’
I did all of my schooling from The British School in Chanakyapuri. I was there from my Kindergarten till Class 12. It was a small school then. Now it’s become very big and very fancy and they finally built a swimming pool, which they promised us the whole time I was there! But it never actually got built. I was a very good student, I only bunked one class, and got caught in that too, it was an Economics class. I was a bit of a geek. I loved doing homework and I enjoyed making notes. My history notes are still used in school today, and I remember my history teacher, Mrs Uppal, who is now the school’s principal. I’m sounding terrible and I think I should think about something naughty I did, but I was a geek.
‘I’ve grown up around famous people, so I understand that it’s just one aspect of your life’
The awareness of just exactly how famous I am, comes from a sense of reality, I think, and a sense of self, and also not giving too much importance to being famous. Being very famous has lots of perks, I’m sure, but I don’t think that it’s something that defines me. And the struggle is not to be incredibly famous. The struggle is, I think, just to be happy. And sometimes I feel that even very famous people don’t necessarily have to be very happy. I don’t think I take fame very seriously. And because I’ve also grown up around very famous people, I’ve understood that it’s just one aspect of your life. And there’s another deeply personal aspect – your family life, your spiritual life, your relationships with people, your education, travel, family. All that contributes to who you are. So those aspects of your life are definitely more important than your famous self.

On having only a ‘moderately successful’ career in films
You only choose from what you get offered. So from what I was offered, what I liked, I chose to do. And if there was something I didn’t like, then there’s a number of things I can do with my life.
In terms of why moderate success, I feel that the life of an actor is complicated and your success is not in your hands alone. Because so much of being an actor and being a part of the film industry is team work, and because so much of it is also a quality that you can’t define, in terms of why certain films work and why some don’t. So I think the idea is to just do your best and to work in films that make you happy. And if the film does well, then great, if it doesn’t do well, you move on. I don’t think success or failure should affect you to that degree.
On nephew Taimur and daughter Inaaya’s pictures flooding social media
I was thinking that I could write a book about the perils of parenting, about being a famous parent! Because you think about these poor children also, who are so sweet and innocent, and of course you’re so protective of them. And then you go out and you KNOW they’re going to be photographed. But you understand that this is the life you’ve chosen for yourself – of course your child has not chosen it and they might be a deeply private person. So you feel protective because they’re so small, but we understand that there’s an interest from the public in the children of celebrities, Taimur certainly is a social media darling. You understand where it’s all coming from but you can’t help but feel protective. We didn’t have to deal with any of that growing up.
The way we’ve chosen to do it, Kunal put out a picture of Inaaya himself, and a lot of people questioned that. And he said, ‘We are going to be taking her out, and she will inevitably be photographed, so I would like that first photograph of her that goes out to be something I’m in control of. It needs to come from me’. In hindsight, I think that was wise, because initially I was apprehensive. I think it gives you a sense of control over what’s happening. Basically, you’re like, this is my child, I should be the one sharing their first picture. It shouldn’t be some photographer hiding behind a tree, who takes some weird, blurry picture of your child, and that’s the first time that the world sees her.