'Ms Mellika, will you pose for us?'

<div class="section1"><div class="Normal"><span style="" font-family:="" arial="" font-weight:="" bold=""><script language="javascript">doweshowbellyad=0; </script></span><br /><span style="" font-family:="" arial="" font-weight:="" bold="">Dear Ms Mellika Serafat</span><span style="" font-family:="" arial="">, </span><br /><br /><span style="" font-family:="" arial="">Greetings in New Delhi, from The United States, the land of free speech, free insults and free body shows.My name is Gerry Showmore and I’m the talent co-ordinator for </span><span style="" font-family:="" arial="" font-style:="" italic="">Playboy</span><span style="" font-family:="" arial=""> corporation. Vide this e-mail I am happy to inform you that we are offering you the chance to pose for our magazine. This is a great opportunity and I may point out that previous playboy bunnies have gone on to riches and fame, and some of them have even been selected to become Presidential Interns. Do get back to me. </span><br /><br /><img align="left" src="/photo/765329.cms" alt="/photo/765329.cms" border="0" /><span style="" font-family:="" arial="" font-weight:="" bold="">Dear Gerry Showmore</span><br /><br /><span style="" font-family:="" arial="">Thank you for the invitation. However, I have been in showbiz for long enough to realise that exposure can be murder. So if you don’t mind me asking straight off how much do I have to show and how much will I be paid? </span><br /><br /><br /><span style="" font-family:="" arial="" font-weight:="" bold="">Dear Ms Serafat</span><span style="" font-family:="" arial="">, </span><br /><br /><span style="" font-family:="" arial="">To begin with you have to show well everything. And since this is the first time that we will be featuring a person from New Delhi we thought that you could pose with some of the national monuments in your city. Thus the first photograph would be of you next to the Qootab Minaar and would be titled Quool Baby. The second one would be one the border where the ‘Welcome to New Delhi’ sign would be amended to read ‘Welcome to Nude Delhi’. And the third one would be on the runaway of New Delhi Airport with the caption ‘Take off and take off ’! As for payment we normally pay $10,000 per photograph, however owing to your Indian Tax laws after subtracting: </span><br /><span style="" font-family:="" arial="">(a) Income Tax, (b) Transfer Tax, (c) Exposure Tax, and (d) Censor tax, you will receive Rs 760 and 45 paisa. </span><br /><br /><span style="" font-family:="" arial="" font-weight:="" bold="">Dear Gerry</span><span style="" font-family:="" arial="">, </span><br /><br /><span style="" font-family:="" arial="">It seems to me that you would be removing my garments but the Indian government would be stripping my assets. Anyway let me think about it and get back to you. How long do I have to decide? </span><br /><br /><span style="" font-family:="" arial="" font-weight:="" bold="">Dear Mellika</span><br /><br /><span style="" font-family:="" arial="">Not very long I am afraid. This was the first idea that we had for a New Delhi-based spread but we are following with three more. There is one on Indian Woman Politicians titled ‘Shock Sabha’, another one with female auto rickshaw drivers called ‘Ricky Strippy Strippy’ and finally one with female customs officers called ‘Nothing to Declare’. All the rest have agreed! </span><br /><br /><span style="" font-family:="" arial="" font-style:="" italic="">(shivjeet@kfact.com)</span></div> </div>