Agony and ecstasy of Mr B

<div class="section1"><div class="Normal"><script language="javascript">doweshowbellyad=0; </script></div> <div class="Normal" style="" text-align:="" center=""><img src="/photo/815688.cms" alt="/photo/815688.cms" border="0" /></div> <div class="Normal"><br />Out of his fabulous collection of fine watches, the one Amitabh Bachchan most likes to wear is a Longines Dolcevita, a much humbler specimen, which he says he bought when he ''was down to his last buck''.<br /><br />"It was during my worst financial crisis," he chuckles, "and I was on a flight going for a shoot, when I thought what the heck – if I was going to go down – I was going to go down in style."<br /><br />Today, after an amazing – almost heroic – turn around, having paid off his debtors and creditors to the tune of almost Rs 100 crore, the watch sits unassumingly on his wrist, handcuffing its wearer to a darker era.<br /><br />There is little about Bachchan that is light and airy. If his life were a canvas, it would be painted with the turbulent chiaroscuro of Van Gogh, rather than the sweetness and light of Monet. Where other actors talk of box-office and Bollywood, Bachchan''s brooding is his trademark. His legendary sulking is his most marked characteristic, the one that most endears him to his friends.<br /><br /></div> <div align="center" style="position:relative; left: -2"><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="center" border="1" width="80.7%"> <colgroup> <col width="100.0%" /> </colgroup> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" white=""> <div class="Normal"><span style="" color:="" ba0000="" font-size:="" font-weight:="" bold="">TALKING POINT:</span> <a href="http://people.indiatimes.com/articleshow/807767.cms" target="_blank" style="" font-size:10ptfont-family:arialfont-weight:boldcolor:000000="">Main Amitabh Bachchan Se Kehna Chahta Hoin...</a></div> </td> </tr> </table></div> <div class="Normal"><br /><br />Hunched over his desk, wearing a woolen skullcap, his eyes flashing with intensity, it is a vintage Bachchan I encounter. Outside his home, the beach is crowded with merry makers and holiday revelers, but inside, the tide has a dark undertow.<br /></div> <div align="right" style="position:relative; left: -2"><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="right" border="0" width="32.1%"> <colgroup> <col width="100.0%" /> </colgroup> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" ffffff=""> <div class="Normal"><img src="/photo/815690.cms" alt="/photo/815690.cms" border="0" /></div> </td> </tr> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" ffffff=""> <div class="Normal" style="" text-align:="" center=""><span style="" font-size:="">With Father, Mother, Brother and wife Jaya</span></div> </td> </tr> </table></div> <div class="Normal">"The loss of my father was undoubtedly the saddest moment of my life," he says without a moment''s hesitation. "My father was someone I was especially close to. He was responsible for my existence, my conduct, my philosophy..."<br /><br />"It is impossible to believe my father is not there any more. It also leaves me with a strong sense of responsibility, that I''m now a very very weak replacement, and the patriarch of the clan," says Bachchan. The weight of his 62 years seems to sit heavily on his stooped shoulders. <br /><br />Though, he admits that "age has its benefits. I prefer the way I look these days. When you''re younger, there is a lot of pressure on you to look good. But when you''re older, your relationship with your wife is established and you don''t have to woo her all over again. Professionally, you''re playing patriarchs, and it doesn''t really matter if you look good or bad. Let''s face it – at 62, women are not going to be looking at you – that chapter is closed," he says, without a trace of irony. <br /><br />Next Page: <a href="/articleshow/msid-815687,curpg-2.cms" style="" font-face:arialfont-size:10ptfont-weight:boldcolor:0066cc="">''Amitabh Bachchan, the traitor''...</a><br /><br /></div> </div><div class="section2"><div class="Normal"><script language="javascript">doweshowbellyad=0; </script></div> <div align="right" style="position:relative; left: -2"><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="right" border="0" width="32.1%"> <colgroup> <col width="100.0%" /> </colgroup> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" ffffff=""> <div class="Normal"><img src="/photo/815691.cms" alt="/photo/815691.cms" border="0" /></div> </td> </tr> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" ffffff=""> <div class="Normal" style="" text-align:="" center=""><span style="" font-size:="">With Abhishek and Shweta</span></div> </td> </tr> </table></div> <div class="Normal">And yet there are those who say he has never looked better, with his craggy eyes, his silver goatee and his world-weary air. And the fact that he exercises daily at 5.30 am in the gym, means that he is in relatively better shape than he has ever been. <br /><br />"My exercising came about because of a sad moment," he narrates, "my father had an episode of illness, and my son was away at school. I found that I was the only person to carry him to hospital. It was then that I decided that one needs a certain amount of physical fitness to face any emergency in life."<br /><br />But like rays of dawn piecing a night sky, Amitabh''s life is not all darkness. He admits that the birth of his children was his happiest moment, "bordering on ecstasy", that the great love of his life is his work, that he has a good confidant and counsel in his friend Amar Singh, and that his proudest possession are his father''s works and his family. <br /><br /></div> <div align="center" style="position:relative; left: -2"><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="center" border="1" width="80.7%"> <colgroup> <col width="100.0%" /> </colgroup> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" white=""> <div class="Normal"><span style="" color:="" ba0000="" font-size:="" font-weight:="" bold="">TALKING POINT:</span> <a href="http://people.indiatimes.com/articleshow/807767.cms" target="_blank" style="" font-size:10ptfont-family:arialfont-weight:boldcolor:000000="">Main Amitabh Bachchan Se Kehna Chahta Hoin...</a></div> </td> </tr> </table></div> <div class="Normal"><br /><br />But besides these few distractions, he says there is little else that cheers him, that he has "never viewed success as any great achievement and therefore it is not a cause for happiness". <br /></div> <div align="left" style="position:relative; left: -2"><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="left" border="0" width="27.0%"> <colgroup> <col width="100.0%" /> </colgroup> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" ffffff=""> <div class="Normal"><img src="/photo/815692.cms" alt="/photo/815692.cms" border="0" /></div> </td> </tr> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" ffffff=""> <div class="Normal" style="" text-align:="" center=""><span style="" font-size:="">With Abhishek</span></div> </td> </tr> </table></div> <div class="Normal">And above all, he is consumed by an ancient, almost Grecian, sense of honour. "On its 150th anniversary," he recalls, "<span style="" font-style:="" italic="">The Times of India</span> had published a coffee table book on its headlines down the years. I found that during the ''80s, at the height of the Bofors scandal, there was more than one reference to ''Amitabh Bachchan, the traitor'' and ''Amitabh Bachchan, the thief.'' I decided that I owed it to my parents and children and future generations to clear my name. I personally took on a prime minister and a government and I fought and didn''t rest until my name was cleared and the papers had to print that I had been wrongly accused." <br /><br />To listen to Amitabh Bachchan talk about how the man on the street looked at him differently, treated him with suspicion and often became abusive during the Bofors controversy and later during his company''s financial crisis, it is easy to understand where the brooding begins. <br /><br />However, he shrugs, "It''s relative. My problems and pleasures are no different from an ordinary person''s. For a person driving a rickshaw, his own agonies and ecstacies may far exceed my own."</div> </div>