'The Tourist' is quite predictable!

The Tourist deserves to be watched for the sheer ‘shock’ value in it. You watch the entire movie contemplating what is more shocking...is it the terribly anorexic looking Jolie or Depp opting to work in an absurd film, the lack of chemistry between the two supposed hotties or how on earth did this film get nominated in three award categories of the Golden Globes!
In intervals when you do consciously refrain yourself from thinking about the above shock quotients, you stare at the screen where Depp manages to crack few lousy jokes.When a front desk executive of a posh Venice hotel greets Depp with a ‘Bonjour’, the actor replies saying, ‘Bon Jovi’ to which the guy smirks and says ‘American’.
Coming to the story, the film begins with a bunch of policemen spying on a mysterious woman Elise (Angelina Joie). They follow her in order to get hold of her lover Alexander Pierce, a crook who stole an astronomical amount of money from a gangster called Shaw (Berkoff). The cops want the taxes on that money. Shaw wants his money back and Elise wants a cover in the form of a man who can help her misguide the cops by making them believe that he is Alexander Pierce instead.
Enters Frank (Johnny Depp) a teacher who Elise strikes a conversation with on the train. Frank is unaware of Elise’s intentions or motives. He gets lured into staying in a hotel suite with the seductress only to find trouble, death and cops chasing after him every minute soon after. Who is the real Alexander Pierce and will Elise continue to jeopardise Frank’s life for her lover is what you get to see.
Idiotic action is fine, moronic comedy can be digested, sluggish yet thrilling plot can be liked but what happens when the film boasts of absolute nothing. Barring the opening scene where Jolie is sleekly chased by a bunch of men, as she keeps her cool, holds her head high and dodges them in her high heels, the film falls flat later on. Nothing in the film manages to arouse your interest in it, let alone keeping it.
The film seems predictable right from the beginning, and you keep anticipating a tumultuous twist which does come eventually although, in the most disappointing manner. The film which is a lousy cross between comedy and espionage thriller seems like a super slow version of Tom Cruise’s action thriller ‘Knight and Day’, only the latter was way better relatively.
Angelina Jolie looks anorexic and haggard. Her wig looks as if it might fall off anytime. By now every filmmaker must have known that she sleep-walks through these ‘sleeper-agent’, ‘femme-fatale’ roles and that’s what she repeats here. Seeing her as the archetypal seductress nullifies whatever little originality you see in The Tourist.
Depp as the confused moron Frank gets to play his career’s most undesirable role and he does it well. Although, he is way too talented to even attempt to do something as absurd as this.
Together, Deep and Jolie do not set the screen on fire as there is no spark between them! The two seems as if they worked on their roles independently and are on a different page. Their corny dialogues could be blamed for this. The only thing beautiful about The Tourist is Venice.
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