I’ll take a lifetime to cope with ma’s loss: Rituparna Sengupta

Am I really coping with this huge loss?” Actress Rituparna Sengupta asks herself this question every day since losing her mother. When we posed the same to her, she admitted, “I don’t think so, but the show must go on.” In an intimate conversation, Rituparna opened up about dealing with the pain of losing the person closest to her, navigating life without her mother, and what’s next on the work front.
You lost your mother in November, whom you always called your best friend. How are you coping?
I still can’t process the fact that I’ve lost both my parents. When I returned home after Ma’s final rites, I felt like an orphan—suddenly unprotected. After losing Baba 14 years ago, Ma was my anchor. Now she’s gone too... The loss is indescribable, and this eternal void will stay with me forever. I’ve resumed work, attending events, moving from day to night, but the pain lingers.
Not being able to hug Ma anymore is unnerving. I miss her calls asking if I’ve eaten. I even miss her scolding me for my erratic schedule- Rituparna

You’re back to work. Does that help distract you?
I couldn’t work for two months, but now I’m slowly getting back to is as the show must go on. I have upcoming releases, like Puratawn and Madam Sengupta, keeping me busy with dubbing and patch shoots. Soon, I’ll start shooting for Bela, based on culinary genius Bela Dey. Work does occupy the mind, but I don’t know if it truly helps overcome grief. Sometimes, while driving past a sari shop or a restaurant, memories of Ma hit me, and I tear up. Processing this loss will take a lifetime.
We all need time and privacy to grieve. Were you able to get that?
Grief is complex and painful. I’m grateful that so many people came to pay their respects to Ma. I never felt alone in this journey. I cry out loud when the sorrow feels overwhelming, and sometimes, I cry alone. Grieving is deeply personal; there’s no right or wrong way to do it.

How are you dealing with it?
I’m terrible at dealing with grief. The line Tum itna jo muskura rahe ho, kya gham hai jisko chhupa rahe ho perfectly sums me up. A friend gifted me Life After Death, and I’m reading it for solace. Ma always complained, “Chumki, you never call! You’re always so busy!” The last time I heard her voice was on November 7 — she weakly said, “Happy Birthday, Chumki, bhalo theko!” That will stay with me forever.
You have a hectic schedule. How do you keep up?
For me, staying on the move is key. I do rest, but the love from my audience fuels my energy. They inspire me to push my limits every day. My time management has improved and directors know that once I’m on set, I’m unstoppable.
With all your experience, do you see yourself in the shoes of a director?
I’m still evolving as an actor. I’ve directed my dance dramas and musicals, but full-fledged direction is a different commitment. However, I am working on my book, which I plan to release soon.
Your thoughts on the Federation and Director’s Guild dispute?
I’ve seen the industry go through highs and lows. Our strength lies in unity, and I believe any dispute should be resolved through positive discussions.
Tell us about working with Sharmila Tagore. Did you speak to her post Saif’s accident?

Sharmila ji is a universe of emotions & she plays every role with such care. Her dedication to her craft, despite being a veteran, is inspiring. She embodies success yet remains effortlessly charming and graceful. Sharing the screen with her in Puratawn was a privilege — I learned what true professionalism is. After I read about the assault on Saif (Ali Khan), we were all so tensed and worried. Sharmila ji seemed so calm, but I could feel how devastated she was when I spoke to her. She said she was thankful to God that he is safe now. I could empathise with her, after all it’s a mother’s instinct.
Quotes:
The show must go on – it is and will always be my mantra
I always want to be guided by the love and wisdom of my elders. There’s so much one can learn from them if only they listen and embrace it
I carry a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders now. Staying focused despite obstacles is something I remind myself of every day
Pic: Anindya Saha; makeup, hair, outfit and styled by: Kaushik-Rajat