MIDDLE
Mr Right & Mrs Wrong

Once upon a time I was single and sane. Professors wrote glowing recommendations and employers held up my efficiency as exemplary. But did it last? No, friends, relatives and neighbours all conspired relentlessly against me. Has she found Mr Right yet? They would ask repeatedly of my parents who would stare into the skyline stoically in response, while my brother would joke and say that forget Mr Right, even a Mr Alright would do.
Well, one foggy December evening Mr Right happened to me.I recognised a good offer when I saw one and enthusiastically jumped for it. I happily said my ''I do''s and without a tear in my eyes sat in the doli and waved out merrily. I looked forward to my career as Mrs Right. But barely had the tune of the shehnai faded that I figured I''d got it wrong. He may have been Mr Right but I was Mrs Wrong.
Domesticity caught me on the wrong foot entirely. The kitchen was my Waterloo. While other wives went on to gourmet cooking and making achaars, marriage had me in a pickle. And sometimes in a proper stew.
Early in our marriage we went out grocery - shopping. Those were wonderful times and Mr Right was then Mr Just Right and hadn''t become Mr Busy Also and Mr Important Too and we held hands while doing everything, even grocery-shopping. Got your wallet? He asked and I nodded confidently. And then he solicitously wheeled the cart around while I tossed the month''s provisions in. At the check-out counter I reached for my wallet — it had a crumpled 20-rupee note in it.
Three years down the line our first child arrived adding to my confusion. We would set out to party — miya-biwi-baby. On good days I forgot to feed the baby at the party, on bad days I forgot the baby at the party.
Enough, said the husband. We acquired a maid. We went out to dinner locking baby and competent maid inside. Had a good time, came back, I reached for my handbag to get the house-keys. The handbag was in the restaurant and that was 20 km away. Drove back to find the restaurant had shut for the night. You don''t want to know the gory details but that time I was in a proper stew.
Men may be from Mars and women may be from Venus but I''ll have you know some of us are from Uranus.