Weddings are a bane for entertainers

Marriage is a kind of funeral where the deceased can smell the flowers on him.'' Every time stand-up comedian Rehman of the show Laughter Challenge commiserates with the groom at a public show, he can almost smell the flowers and appreciation thrown at him. But when Rehman attempts the same joke at a marriage hall, all he hears is the clink of cutlery, followed by satisfied burps from his menu-fixated audience.
It's never easy to wean a hungry crowd from its plates , and stand-up comedians - the new recreation at wedding receptions - are finding this out the hard way. "It's awkward and humiliating when no one listens,'' says Rehman, who has performed at weddings in Mumbai without particularly enjoying the experience. At one affair , he gave back the mike after cracking three jokes to no laughter, and asked his client to go get a "local comedian' ' instead. Rehman now does weddings only if the client agrees to his terms and conditions. "I also charge them a bomb,'' he says, refusing to quantify "bomb" .
Most comedians resort to this tactic (charging a lot more than their market price) to endure the tedium of a disinterested shaadi audience. Savio Pinto, who runs an event management company in Delhi, says, "I get about two to three calls daily looking for stand-ups to perform at weddings . We supply according to the budget, which could range from Rs 10,000 to about Rs 1 lakh each.''
Fitted out in formal jackets as befits the occasion, these funny-men perform on manicured wedding lawns, talking about about marriage, kids and men "who love wives, just not their own'' .
Stand-up comic Rajiv Malhotra of Delhi says one has to be careful not to "joke about the elderly or about housewives as the crowd is largely made up of them'' . It's also a bad idea to talk about terrorism - his favourite subject so he reluctantly sticks to safe subjects. "I talk about kids.'' However, Malhotra who has seen the likes of Bappi Lahiri being ignored at such functions , tries to stay away from wedding invitations. "Sometimes, people hire both, a DJ and a comedian . The comedian is asked to stay throughout and do things like garland the groom,'' says Malhotra, who refuses to "forego my dignity in this fashion'' . Mumbai's Navin Prabhakar , who is usually greeted with a shrill "Paichan kon?'' by fans thanks to his famous bar girl impersonation, also consciously avoids weddings. "I don't find it necessary to participate in what's a mere show of status,'' he says. Girish Thapar, a bespectacled wedding planner who also doubles as a stand-up comic at weddings, can identify with Prabhakar. He too has been a victim not just of indifference but also a deliberate smirking silence. "Some people are egoistic. They just won't clap.''