Gay couple ties the knot in a traditional ceremony

When Kolkata’s Abhishek Ray exchanged marital vows with his Gurgaon-based partner Chaitanya Sharma at a city banquet on Sunday, the City of Joy witnessed its first gay wedding. As friends and family showered their love and blessings on the same-sex couple, it was a sight to behold and cherish for not just those in attendance, but many others who have been hailing this as a big step towards achieving an inclusive society.From gaye holud, asirbad, mehendi and sangeet to saat pheras, malabodol and khoi porono, a local priest conducted the wedding as per Bengali rituals.
Stop thinking log kya kahenge
While Abhishek, a fashion designer, is a self-confessed filmi at heart and a die-hard romantic, Chaitanya, a digital marketing expert, is more practical. “Ultimately, love conquers all, as it has no barriers, caste, creed, religion, and most importantly, gender. Stop thinking ‘log kya kahenge’ and start living your life your way,” said Abhishek.
Although the Supreme Court decriminalised homosexuality in 2018, same-sex couples cannot get their marriage legally registered. “So, we were sceptical about it at first but then thought a wedding ceremony was not a criminal act. Section 377 allows gay couples to be together,” said Abhishek, adding, “In a social wedding, it is not just two people getting married, but it is about two families coming together. Gay marriages might not be legal, but doing this social event with loved ones is important to celebrate our love. Making this decision was not easy, but we made it happen. I guess this is the first gay wedding in Kolkata and I hope this is followed by several such marriages and it becomes as natural and normal as any other wedding.”

Hope this encourages gay couples to enjoy life freely
Chaitanya, who was holding his partner’s hand throughout the ceremony, had revealed his sexual orientation to his family in 2016. “It wasn’t an easy journey, but I managed to make them understand and with time, they accepted me for who I am and even started being supportive. When I told them I wanted to marry Abhishek, there was initial resistance, so we gave them time to come to terms with it. They eventually realised that this decision meant a lot to us and would make us both happy. Things started falling into place from there,” said Chaitanya, who hopes that their wedding will encourage others from the community to come forward and live their life as they wish.
Finding a priest wasn’t easy
Same-sex marriages continue to be a taboo in this part of the world, so naturally, finding a priest to solemnise the wedding was no mean task. “We approached several pandits to conduct the wedding rituals, but most of them turned us down. Then I finally asked our family pandit, and thankfully, he has been extremely supportive. He said what we are doing is extremely progressive, and it will set a precedent for many couples like us. He said our wedding would encourage them to come out and get married to the love of their lives. Despite his fear of losing out on Durga Puja offers this year and inviting criticism by his associates for being a part of our wedding, he wanted to participate in something so ‘pure and auspicious’ like this,” shared Abhishek.

Love from friends & fam gives us hope
Though Chaitanya is currently based in Gurgaon, he will be in Kolkata and work from home for now. “We will take one step at a time and enjoy each moment of us being together,” said Abhishek. “The amount of love we got from our family, especially the elderly members, and friends and neighbours who took part in the wedding, is amazing. This just gives us hope for a better tomorrow. There is no shame in being ‘you’ and that too unapologetically,” he added.
The duo will soon fly off to Paris for their honeymoon. The couple eventually plans to settle abroad to live in a more gay-friendly environment. “We both love children. Unfortunately, the rules, regulations and laws don’t allow gay couples to adopt children. So, I don’t want to think about it now and feel bad. I am hopeful things will change in the near future. We will definitely have a child at some point in life,” said Abhishek.

It’s a victory for love
Designer Navonil Das, a friend of the couple, attended the wedding. He said, “It’s not every day that you get to witness a same-sex marriage or gay wedding in the country, leave alone in Kolkata. For me, it was a really beautiful experience seeing two grooms exchange garlands, sitting in front of the holy pyre and walking around it while exchanging the eternal vows of marriage. This will hopefully change society’s perspective toward love, making them realise that it can exist in more forms than they imagine. It’s love that won the day for Abhishek and Chaitanya.”
Also present at the occasion were the mother-daughter duo Tanusree and Sreenanda Shankar. “Abhishek has been my best friend since 2005. I am so happy and proud of him for being himself and setting this trend. He is an inspiration for everyone who is struggling to be themselves. The support that both the families provided to the couple made me quite emotional. Kudos to Abhishek and Chaitanya for being fearlessly in love,” said Sreenanda.
Tanusree, on her part, said, “Abhishek and Chaitanya’s marriage was one of the most beautiful occasions I have been a part of. Love and blessings poured in from everyone. May they enjoy a beautiful journey together.”

It was a filmy start
Abhishek and Chaitanya were Facebook friends for a long time. In 2020, Abhishek uploaded his photo with a friend’s children. That is when the couple started texting. Recalled Abhishek, “Chaitanya thought I was married, and those were my children (smiles). After that, we started talking on texts and things got a little serious. When the lockdown ended, I invited him to Kolkata. He was supposed to come for two days, but that got extended for two weeks. Then in March 2021, I visited his family in Delhi, and later, he took me on a trip to Agra. I had once shared with him that my dream proposal would be in front of the Taj Mahal. He kept that in mind, and went full-on filmy. He went down on his knees in front of the Taj Mahal and proposed to me with a ring in his hand! That moment was straight out of a fairy tale for me.”
PIX: Kaustav Saikia