Battle of wits on ‘health injuries’ post marriage

KOLKATA: Marriages could be made in heaven but they often weigh heavy on your heart on earth instead of making it flutter with joy, ending in bitterness and ill health, argued a section of speakers at a debate on “Marriage is injurious to health” (Bibaha swasthyer pakkhe khatikar) at a city auditorium on Sunday evening. Others contended that you must identify the areas that are potentially injurious before tying the knot and avoid putting yourself and your partner under the stress of unreasonable expectations to make your union work.The debate was organized by the Park Circus Institute and Calcutta Debating Circle.
Moderating the debate, cardiac surgeon Kunal Sarkar said the issue was volatile enough to get participants and the audience react violently. “So, please keep your calm and refrain from saying or doing anything that won’t prevent you from returning home safely and living in harmony with your partner,” said Sarkar.
Author Chandril Bhattacharya said couples needlessly sacrificed their freedom and happiness to get what they could easily have without marrying. “We accept our spouse’s demands and wishes and deprive ourselves, calling it adjustment. Marriage is a curse and a penalty, which we pay throughout our lives. By the time we realize our mistake, it’s often too late,” said Bhattacharya. Indian Statistical Institute professor Subhamoy Maitra argued that marriage was a basic necessity like ‘roti, kapda aur makan’, like an old shirt that you love to wear and feel comfortable in. Marriage won’t survive for it makes you lose your space and turns you self-centric, pointed out author Sangita Bandopadhyay.
CPM leader Shatarup Ghosh said it would be fundamentalist to oppose the idea of marriage. “We need to distinguish between a good and a bad marriage. Marriage needs upgradation and there is always an option to end it. Being with another makes you a part of a family and leads you to think collectively,” Ghosh said.