Should a mother be paid for her chores?

When Manushi Chhillar was judged Miss World 2017, India had something else to be proud of — the answer which won the crown for her had struck a chord with mothers across the world.
When asked which profession deserves the highest salary, Manushi’s answer was ‘’that of a mother’’. However, at the same time it also raised a question, whether the long hours of work a mother puts in for her family can ever be measured in terms of money.In fact, a proposal was put forward in 2012 by Krishna Thirath, the then Women and Child Development Minister, suggesting that a husband must share a certain percentage of his income with his homemaker wife. But no solid information is available about the results of the proposal, and the revolutionary move did not bring about any significant changes. Meanwhile, we ask a few mothers — homemakers as well as others — the same question. Does motherhood need remuneration?
‘The beauty will be lost if you make it a give and take process’
Nisha Balakrishnan, an assistant professor at a college who took a hiatus from her job post motherhood, says that no materialistic reward can match the joy she feels while treating her family to sumptuous food. “The smile on their faces after leaving the table with a full stomach makes it all worthwhile for me. There is no need of words.”
A mother’s mind is constantly occupied with thoughts on what dish to prepare for the next meal and the next day, and added to it is the worry whether the husband and kids liked the food she cooked with love, she says. “It might leave you with a considerably less amount of food, but it doesn’t matter. When you are a mother, you don’t keep track of the things you do for your kids and if you make it a give-and-take process, the beauty will be lost.”
More often than not, women never even wish for any recognition, according to her. “Many feel that household work is divine, and keep doing the chores without expecting any credit for it,” she says.
Similar is the case of Sajina Rakesh, who got married at a very young age. In all these years, she has never felt fed up even once, she says. “A lot of women are unsung heroes of their family. But in my case, the family does give attention to the work I do. I feel that even if people don’t appreciate the strenuous job of being a mother, which is more difficult than any other profession, they should at least make sure not to demotivate them.”
She also points out that when compared to a salaried job, a mother’s work is not time-bound, and there have been instances when she found herself grumbling over chores piled one on top of the other. Hence, Sajina doesn’t quite agree with the idea of putting a monetary tag on their selfless work. “We don’t work for money or any reward for that matter. Also, it is not for survival that we work, but for a heart-warming experience, while being still at home. For me, each day is an opportunity to enhance my cooking skills and come up with dishes my children will find appealing,” she says.
‘A mother does a maid’s work more meticulously’
Deepamol Mathew, also an assistant professor at a college, has a completely different world view, though. The tags of mother or homemaker in the true sense of the words have been imposed on women, she says. “People ask why a homemaker should get a salary but a maid who does the same work gets paid. What is wrong in giving them salary for work which is done much more meticulously than a maid?”
Deepamol reminds you of how Malayalam writer Vaikkom Muhammad Basheer’s witty remark about how he would get married to a woman so that he can save the twenty rupees he would otherwise pay a maid. “What has to be noted is that a woman does not bring a child to this world by herself. It is up to the husband to share the responsibility of running the household as well as bring up the child, equally.”
And it is not just about homemakers, working women too face the massive task of cooking, washing utensils and tucking the kids in their beds, after toiling at office for long hours, she points out. “A gesture of gratitude from the husband, like handing her a certain amount of money would actually brighten her day.”
A reward needn’t always be money
Smitha Rajesh Raj, a teacher at a prominent school in Kochi, wakes up at 4.30 in the morning and cooks breakfast and lunch for the entire family before leaving for work at 6.30 am. Even as she winds up work at school by 4.30 pm, the sounds of utensils from the kitchen waiting to be washed starts filling her mind. “It makes you feel so mechanical that you start yearning for peace and relaxation.” That’s precisely why her husband, Rajesh Raj and she made a conscious decision to be free of household chores during the weekends. “We make it a point to buy food from outside atleast on Sundays. So I keep looking forward to the weekends.”
But it was during Smitha’s pregnancy that Rajesh got an insight into cooking, for the first time. Earlier, even the simplest of tasks such as washing the utensils had seemed like rocket science to him. “Gradually, as I started to do them myself, I realised that housework is no easy task, and that is when I developed immense respect for the women in my life, be it my mother or my wife,” he says.
Rajesh is of the opinion that even if you recognise their work and hand them over money as salary, women will never accept it. “That said, I appreciate their work in public, and treat them often with pocket money,” he says.
Smitha concludes, “On one hand, we glorify womanhood and motherhood, but we conveniently ignore her work, on the other. The rewards needn’t necessarily be in the form of money, it can be anything from a word of appreciation or acknowledgement of their work before friends and family.”