Feminichi Yes, But Not Woke Enough

I was just four years old when I first watched Vandanam, which sparked my admiration for Mohanlal. The sequences and the actor’s charming gestures as he persuaded the female protagonist to say “I love you” were delightful entertainment for me. Growing up, I absorbed the notion from films that love meant relentless pursuit until the woman said yes. This theme persisted in many celebrated films of my teens, such as Ayal Kathayezhuthukayanu, Thenkasipattanam, and CID Moosa, all of which depicted ‘heroes’ persistently persuading women for love. Subsequently, films like Annayum Rasoolum, Bangalore Days, Premam, and now Premalu continued this trend, becoming box office hits and creating stars and fans alike.

However, the recent success of Premalu, where Sachin, an aimless engineering graduate, obsessively pursues Reenu, a confident and ambitious woman, until she finally succumbs to his advances after feeling guilty for not reciprocating his feelings, prompted me to confront the uncomfortable truth: This is pure stalking.

Incidentally, I felt a sigh of relief when the female protagonist’s friend accused the guy of stalking. However, my dismay doubled the next moment when they turned it into a joke. This highlights another subtle danger of normalizing heinous crimes, similar to what we’ve seen with words like “rape” and “#MeToo” being trivialized in pop culture, making trauma seem acceptable.

At the end of the movie, the sight of happy faces around me, regardless of gender, shocked me, leading me to realize that the cat-and-mouse chase has been subtly ingrained into our minds over the years as an accepted norm and social construct.

How can one think otherwise when a movie glorifying stalking is celebrated in theaters for 50 days—a rare achievement post-Covid—and becomes the 4th highest-grossing Malayalam film of all time?

The romanticized portrayal of men persuading women in films does not mirror reality. The instances of stalking women, including me, whether on the road, in public transportation, at school, on social media, or even at work, have never been enjoyable. Moreover, the refusal of a woman’s no is rarely taken seriously. This sentiment is shared by every woman I’ve spoken to about stalking—it is traumatic, painful, and violates our freedom and human rights. Yet, it is disheartening that men around us often fail to comprehend this reality. Let us attribute this phenomenon to the entertainment value of Malayalam films, Indian films, and even international films we’ve celebrated over the years. These films often portray stalking as an essential element of love.

One case of stalking was reported every 55 minutes in India, according to a 2018 National Crime Records Bureau report, more than double the cases (4,699) reported in 2014. Stalking cases dipped slightly from 9,438 in 2018 to 9,285 in 2021. However, these are just the reported numbers. In 2022, there was a rise in the number of cyberstalking cases as well, with Kerala reporting approximately 30 cases.

According to the state government’s 2021 records, 12 women were killed by their stalkers in the past four years in Kerala. In August 2023, a man in Kerala was sentenced to three years of rigorous imprisonment for harassing a woman police officer by making over 300 calls to a police station in Kochi.

IPC Section 354D, added in 2013 after the Nirbhaya gangrape case, criminalizes stalking. Stalking includes following a woman and repeatedly attempting to engage with her despite her disinterest or monitoring her electronic communications. The punishment for first-time offenders is up to three years of imprisonment and a fine, while repeat offenders face up to five years of imprisonment and a fine. It is bailable for the first conviction but non-bailable for subsequent ones.

Advocate Raghul Sudheesh, practising at Kerala HC, emphasizes that the issue lies not in the strength of the law, but rather in society’s tendency, including the entertainment media, to trivialize it. “Consequently, women endure stalking. Often, when women voice their concerns, they are met with indifference leading to hesitance in reporting. Many who do report may halt the process midway due to the daunting legal procedures involved. This normalization of stalking is evident in the widespread consumption of stalking videos on social media and in cinema. It is crucial to raise awareness and sensitize both society and law enforcement officials to address this issue at both individual and institutional levels,” he says.

In 2014, Bangalore Days topped the list of high-grossing films in the Malayalam cinema industry, followed by Premam in 2015. Premalu earned around Rs 134 crore worldwide and is projected to reach the Rs 140 crore milestone by the end of its theatrical run.

Psychiatrist CJ John says the success of such films reflects the enduring cultural acceptance of problematic prototypes: Men stalking women, and husbands abusing wives. “Our societal hierarchy, as depicted in films, remains unaddressed due to their entertainment value and financial success overshadowing underlying problems. Despite women’s educational advancements, instances of stalking and violence persist in relationships. Men, grappling with rejection, often resort to violence, while women, in turn, may accommodate, perpetuating the cycle. Normalizing male behavior as “boys being boys” reinforces traditional norms, shaping male-female relationships hierarchically. Women must also challenge these norms. The consistent celebration of such behavior in films hinders progress,” he says.

In the past five years, films featuring “youth icons” like Naslen K Gafoor and Mathew Thomas, such as Thaneer Mattan Dinangal, Neymar, Jo and Jo, Christy, and Premalu, have depicted the journey of youths aged 16-25. These films showcase women who are smart, ambitious, progressive, and high achievers, challenging societal norms. Cultural studies researcher and associate professor at Kannur University, Sreebhitha PV, expresses concern: “The portrayal of these women desiring love, care, and protection raises questions about the necessity for independent women to seek protection from men who may be less intellectually or socially equal. Additionally, despite the apparent progressiveness of the female characters, the overarching focus of these movies remains male-centric. This sends a troubling message to the younger generation, suggesting that persistent pursuit (or stalking) guarantees romantic success.”

Film critic CS Venkiteswaran observes that from the inception of Malayalam cinema, it has consistently relied on elements of stalking.“The most celebrated dynamic has always been the chemistry between the protector and the stalker. Men of any stature are portrayed as eligible to pursue the best women, regardless of compatibility. This trend is deeply rooted in the demography of Kerala. There is now a slight caution in the narrative of films, particularly after the actress assault and ongoing discussions led by the Women in Cinema Collective. It is unfortunate that male bonding in cinema continues to be glorified, while caution remains at a peripheral level,” he notes.