Online dosti: Virtual or real?

Every Friendship Day, wishes, graphics of bouquets, cakes, GIFs, reposts of forgotten pictures from 1000-odd friends flood our social media timelines. And our happiness knows no bounds. Why not? In today’s fast paced world, when no one has time for others, the security of having an army of friends to wish you “Happy Friendship Day”, cheer you up when low, lend a shoulder to cry on and be there for you come what may; sure seems perfect.
But have you ever wondered if it is for real? Especially when you are hanging with your friends more on virtual hangouts than in the real world?
So, are friendships on social networking platforms too good to be true; an illusion, perhaps? After all, they are not flesh-and-blood people and probably who might not recognise you, if you walked past them in the streets. Actor and stand-up comedian Anuj Gurwara says, the truth is one is alone most of the time
despite being surrounded by an army of virtual friends.




“Social networking websites are the loneliest places on the planet. A smart way is to use them for networking, and not friendship in the real sense of it. I don’t acknowledge online friendships or silly insipid days called Friendship Day or any other relationship day. True friendship is when you never have to assert it. My friends are people who will never speak with me again if I send them silly wishes like ‘Happy Friendship Day’. They’d ‘unfriend’ me in real life,” says Anuj.
The usage of the word ‘friend’ has changed but ‘friendship’ in itself hasn’t, feels actor Vijay Deverakonda. “The meaning of ‘friend’ is very casual and loose these days. Even an acquaintance is sometimes labelled a friend. Blame it on our limited vocabulary or ‘social media culture’. It’s also lack of patience because it’s convenient for people to introduce somebody as his or her ‘friend’, rather than explaining who they are and where and how you met them. Social media interaction has increased so much these days that earlier we had only a handful of friends in the locality with whom we’d hang out and share everything with; it was a smaller, intimate circle. Today, it’s easier to talk to everybody across the globe and you get 200 messages every day. So even if you don’t know anyone truly well, you know them,” he says, adding he’s still in touch with many of his school and hostel friends nevertheless and considers them his brothers.

Actress Lakshmi Manchu

believes the world has been changing and people are opening up, thanks to social media. “It has worked fine for me since I could connect to a few of my good friends staying in the US, whom I couldn’t call up and speak with individually. But having said that, you need to know who your true friends are and be protective about yourself; I have learnt that over the years. Earlier, being Lakshmi, Mohan Babu’s daughter, it was difficult to find a friend. Today, as Lakshmi Manchu, it is worse because I don’t know who that best friend is. Some are with you for the person that you are, some are jealous and end up back biting about you. I have had to confront some of my ‘friends’ who betrayed me by leaking personal details. So, being protective is also important because of ‘selective loyalty’; you can’t trust everyone. Somebody who’s there with you at every level of your life — god, bad or worst — is your friend and I’m lucky to have those eight-ten people that I can trust.”