Love in the time of Tinder, and why cops need a sense of humour

GURUGRAM:

Love

, crime and the Indian Constitution were on the menu during an absorbing evening, at the special preview of the Times

Litfest

Delhi, presented by Rajnigandha.


Gurugrammers turned up to hear Manu Joseph and Ravinder Singh hold forth on love in the time of

Tinder

. They would have gone back home thinking of the average Indian cop in a different (and more positive) light, thanks to the affable company of IPS officer Amit Lodha,

author

of the chuckle-inducing ‘Bihar Diaries’. Lastly, they were asked to consider why it wouldn’t be such a bad idea if the Constitution underwent reform.

Love, shared Joseph, is madness, and romantic love, he thought, has ended up confusing every generation. “We’re in search of meaning and because we’re searching for meaning, we’re always looking for love. There’s no escaping love,” he expressed. “Most of the time, we are not thinking of GST or Pakistan, we’re thinking of relationships, and I find it fascinating that relationships are usually a mess.

“What we love is ourselves, which we then project onto another person, and it gets complicated. We’re like children without guidance.” Singh’s take was that love has become something of a ‘khichdi’ in these digital-happy (and distraction-heavy) times.

But, is love fate or choice? According to Singh, “If it works out well, it was a choice. If it doesn’t, it’s fate!” And what will love look like in 2030? “We’ll be talking about the new Alexa version, who’s good in bed!” he joked.

When it comes to writing, Joseph admitted that magic realism wasn’t for him. For Singh, content should hold emotional appeal. “I don’t want to make it difficult for my readers to understand – they should feel the emotion in that moment,” he said.

While on language, Joseph also spoke of how, as a child, he wanted to write and direct Tamil movies. “I would think in Tamil but I used to hope in English,” he told the

audience

. “At the age of 15, writing in English suddenly looked like a natural thing to do!”

The second

session

saw Lodha in conversation with Rashmi Saksena, author of ‘She Goes to War: Women Militants of India’. Currently ranked inspector general of police, Lodha said he found no contradiction in being a cop and being a sensitive human. “You have to be really sensitive to understand someone’s problems and pain – that’s how you can become a good cop,” he argued.

Cops, he advised, must develop a sense humour, a quality he feels is essential to preserve one’s sanity in a profession that is often thankless. “There is so much of stress and strain in life, so you have to find humour. Because in our job, there’s only bad news.” When asked about the spate in crimes against women, Lodha insisted all the laws of the land won’t help if men don’t grow up and start treating women with respect.

And to the oft-held view that cops are bullies, Lodha countered they’re only products of the society they’re serving. “People in small towns expect cops to be a Dabangg, and the Indian public expect cops to use third degree against criminals – that’s why we have encounters.” Lodha, incidentally, is one of the collaborators on ‘Bharat ke Veer’, through which initiative Indians can contribute financially to the families of those who have laid down their lives for the nation.

To conclude proceedings, Atul Khanna, a name to be reckoned with in the knowledge industry, spoke of how the Constitution requires an urgent overhaul. “People are not the problem, it’s the Constitution that is the problem, and we have to get to the bottom of the problem,” Khanna urged.

One of the solutions he proposes in his book, ‘Between You and Me: Flight to Societal Moksha’ – which he calls an “emotional dialogue” between him and the reader – is the transferable vote. “It will take power away from the system and place it in the hands of the people.”

The fourth edition of the Times Litfest Delhi, presented by Rajnigandha, will be held on December 1 and 2, from 11 am onwards at India Habitat Center. Entry is free (details available at www.TOI.in/TimeslitfestDelhi).