How an ‘Acharya Drone’ statue in city can show the Guru in a new light

The MCG is in a bit of a quandary.

Statues

of

Guru Dronacharya

and his five Pandava pupils, in full Eastman colour, had been erected some time ago near the Rajiv Chowk flyover, but they had to be removed to make way for the new

Sohna Road

underpass. The city fathers (and mothers) have to decide where and in what form should it be relocated.

The problem that MCG faces is that in the current climate of unrest among the Dalits, it may be politically inappropriate to honour a person known for his caste prejudices. By asking Eklavya to sever his thumb so that Arjun could top the charts as an archer, the guru blotted his copybook forever. If he is to be idolized, then a new narrative will have to be invented.

Fortunately, by focusing on technological breakthroughs in the Mahabharata period, it is possible to divert attention away from such abominable deeds. Tripura chief minister Biplab Kumar Deb has already informed us that the internet existed in that era, as that was the only way Dhritrashtra’s charioteer Sanjay could give a running commentary on the battle from a 50km distance. Deb has shown us how we can find a new rationale for placing the Mahabharata heroes in the pantheon of great achievers of ancient India.

For starters, it can be discovered that the real name of the tutor who coached the princes on both sides of the familial divide was in fact Drone Acharya. We can then say that it proves that he gave us the technology that makes objects hover and move on a horizontal plane. His name was changed later to Dronacharya, but by reverting to the correct moniker we can declare that he in fact invented the drone. The forest department in Haryana is using this gadgetry today to monitor illegal activities in the Aravali forests.

That gives us a new reason for honouring the Guru. We can also claim that the helicopter was born of the same knowhow. It is but natural that centuries later the man who discovered the helicopter shot in cricket should also be an Indian. Maybe, cricket too was invented in India.

Acharya Drone was the teacher of the Kauravas as well. And did we hear credit for Gandhari's amazing gynaecological feat of begetting 100 of them was the result of ancient Indians’ mastery over stem cell technology! We cannot accommodate all 100 of them but some symbolic representation of their existence would need to be incorporated in the proposed monument in Gurugram to underscore this achievement. We have also been informed by the PM that Karna was not born from the womb of his mother, which proves that an advanced genetic science existed in our country and he too must find a place in the proposed edifice.

A serious effort to rewrite history is currently under way in India. This is not easy in the absence of archeological evidence. However, no proof is required of mythology, and if we can blend it with history, we can invent a narrative that covers all blemishes of the past, giving us an inspiring legacy for our onward march in the 21st century.

(The writer is a former journalist)


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