‘No toilet, no bride’ old mantra in Tamil Nadu

CHENNAI: Six months ago, when B Loganayaki was seeking a bride for her brother she was baffled by the questions posed. “Most parents asked if there was a toilet in our house,” said the panchayat federation leader from Kothambakkam in Tiruvallur. “Three even insisted on checking.”
Many may feel Union rural development minister Jairam Ramesh’s ‘no toilet, no bride’ mantra is a fresh idea.But it has been in vogue for sometime in rural Tamil Nadu, partly due to campaigns by NGOs.
S Elango, former panchayat president of a village in Tiruvallur said, “This is particularly true of educated girls in villages. In some cases, the groom’s family builds a toilet with no persuasion whatsoever from the bride’s family.”
Sheelu, president of a women’s collective, said people in towns and peri-urban areas are used to sanitation facilities. “When they approach a prospective groom from a village, they like to ensure the house has a toilet,” she said. “In coastal districts like Nagapattinam, all houses reconstructed after the 2004 tsunami have attached toilets and the habit of open defecation is no longer prevalent. These residents insist on toilets when they look for grooms.”
Karaikal district women fishworkers association president K Vedavalli added, “A year ago, my niece and her parents came from Nagapattinam to Kilinjalmedu, to meet a prospective groom. But there was no toilet in their house. So my niece’s family rejected him and she married another man in Cuddalore whose house had all modern amenities.” Later, the family of the rejected man built a toilet and resumed the search for a bride. “Now he too is married,” added Vedavalli.
It’s not just educated people who insist on the groom’s house having a toilet. S Dhanapadyam, an agricultural labourer in Trichy district, envisaged something similar for her daughter Vanitha. “When my current son-in-law approached me for my daughter’s hand, I said I was unwilling to accept the alliance as he had no toilet in his house,” she said. “He didn’t protest. He went back to his village in Musiri, built a toilet and returned to ask for her hand again.”