Friends, not lovers

<div class="section1"><div class="Normal"><span style="" font-style:="" italic="">Estranged couples often find their relationship improves post-divorce </span><br /><br />They fought like enemies when they were married but become the best of buddies after getting a divorce. Sounds unreal? It''s true, at least in some cases. Don''t be too surprised if you see a once antagonistic couple sharing a meal, going on vacation with their children and even shopping together! <br /><br />Holistic healing expert Jyoti Shah married a second cousin after she lost her first husband at 21."Being together brought out the worst in us. We would, in fact, reflect each other''s most awful qualities," she says. Once she was out of the relationship she was able to view it objectively. "I could clearly see where I had gone wrong and stopped blaming him for the failure of the marriage. Now we are good friends." <br /><br />Would they ever consider getting back together? "No. The chemistry died down much before the major problems came up." Jyoti admits that now, it is their son who''s the cementing factor. "Children are one reason why you''d want to make peace with your ex." <br /><br />For style expert Mona Sindhu, legally separating from her husband of over two decades put an end to all the pressure to make the relationship work. "We are genuinely fond of each other and our two kids are a bonding factor. There''s bitterness in every split but you have to learn to let go and move on. From the larger pers pective, everything looks so trivial." The couple go on long vacations with their children and have a great time. "We never had so much fun when we were married," she says. <br /><br />For Ramnarayan who was married for 10 years, his ex-wife Swarnalatha Iyengar who now lives in Mumbai is a good friend. "I call her up for recipes and she always calls me to tell me how she''s getting on. We don''t have children, but are concerned about each other." His second wife is aware of these fairly regular phone calls and is cool about the friendship. "Swarnalatha too has remarried and is well settled," he says. <br /><br />Counsellor Dinesh Kumar has come across cases where divorced couples have even got into business partnerships with each other. "Once the couple legally separate, the concept of ownership vanishes and expectations come down hugely. And that can kindle feelings of friendship. Even their children are better off. They can live with divorce but not with the pressures of living with parents who constantly send out bad vibes to each other," he says. <br /><span style="" font-style:="" italic="">cavalesangeeta@indiatimes.com</span></div> </div>