Baby? not now, not ever

GEETHA RAO / TNN / Mar 13, 2007, 21:15 IST

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Young men are apparently freezing sperm for delayed fatherhood; but now there are women who are opting not to have children at all.

Young men are apparently freezing sperm for delayed fatherhood; but now there are women who are opting not to have children at all.
Planning a baby? Ditch the job, motherhood's the bigger job, no two ways about it — at least that's how things were for women some years ago. Now the trend has changed dramatically. Now it is — get educated, yes; get a job, yes; get married, ok; have a baby — nah, that can wait.
Actually, make that no baby please. And it's fine with those women who want to give their all to their careers, and don't want a child to mar their prospects as they move up the ladder.
Sunita (name changed), was in a high-pressure job and decided she didn't want kids — it wasn't worth it. Rather than have any doubts later, she decided to rest the case once for all; she got herself sterilised.

In another case, a couple decided that their life was complete without a kid — they were in their late 30s, had all the comforts they wanted. "Both had wellestablished careers, highpressure jobs, and didn't want to be saddled with additional responsibilities at all," says Dr Susheela Shetty, gynaecologist in south Bangalore.
Says Dr Latha Venktaram, president, Bangalore Society of Gynaecology and Obstetrics, there are many women in high-profile jobs, mainly IT, who delay pregnancy, initially because they are either busy working, or they have bought a home so they are paying back loans. "It's like there is no right time to have a baby.

Material comforts rate high, ambitions also are high, so motherhood takes a backseat," she says. But now there are women who are deciding they do not want babies at all. "As long as they don't regret the decision later, it's all right," she says, "though the biological clock does kick in for some."
Dr Susheela Shetty says, sometimes, the delay is an offshoot of having a demanding career. And that spins into a situation where the couple do not want kids at all.
Career is a priority for a growing number of young women in the city, so planning for pregnancy takes a backseat, says Dr Padmini Prasad. About 2-3 per cent of the patients she sees have even decided against having a baby.
She cites the case of a couple who were both project managers in an IT company. "Married late, around 38 years, they say they are not interested in having kids. And they are happy with the companionship they share."
Fertility expert Dr Pravin Kini finds the people who drop the idea of having a kid are those close to their 40s or in their early 40s. "When they finish with education, some women are 27; then it's their career, they get married by their 30s. The women may not even have thought about having a baby."
But there's hope for those who don't want their career bogged down by the responsibilities of having a baby, but having it whenever they choose to, though the facility is not available in India yet.
And that is through "freezing the woman's eggs" when she's 18 or so, and then going in for a baby when she's done with career pressures and is ready for it, says Dr Kini. She could even be 60.

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